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Archive for April, 2003

I had a lovely conversation last night with sweetpickles until my cell phone battery died. I’m sorry but I can’t remember what I said I’d email you about. My friend who is getting married in two weeks called as soon as I had hung up because she can’t find any nail professionals in Red Wing who don’t use drills (ahhh, I’ve trained her well), so I called her back using J’s phone and gave her the name of a salon that didn’t use to use drills. It’s hard to know these days because nail technicians seem to move around a lot.

After that call, I was in the car and my mother called. Apparently, one of my friends from junior high (and into high school) died on Saturday from leukemia. I had been told last summer that she had been diagnosed, but 9 months seem awful fast. I regret that I never called her or contacted her. The memorial service is tomorrow morning, and the visitation is only in the morning before the service. I’m not planning to go (I would have driven down if it was being held tonight) but I’ve sent a card with a very small donation.

I’m feeling a bit guilty because this was a friendship that I intentionally let drop. I don’t think we would have ever been close again, but I feel that I may have been cruel. My only hope is that eventually she found some happiness.

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I have survived the most intense weekend of all the “wedding weekends” this spring. I knew that this one would be the most stressful because I was making arrangements for a strategic planning session and performing the role of personal attendant in J’s sister’s wedding.

The planning session went well. We were prepared and the hotel was excellent. I was there for part of Friday only, and the staff was helpful and professional (such a difference from the location we are usually forced to use).

I left the planning session early on Friday to help set up the wedding reception. Pizza was provided by the couple. There was no rehearsal (which was kind of obvious the next day–at least to us). The bride and groom, the parents of both, J’s brother, J, myself, and one church member set up a gymnasium to accommodate 235 guests. (more…)

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I’m rather depressed today, and my self-esteem is pretty low. Those two things tend to go hand in hand, but today (and last night) I believe that the esteem issues are what’s driving the depression.

A small part of it is that it was this week one year ago that I discovered that my husband had cheated on me with a girl 10 years younger than myself (9 years younger than him). The reason that he gave me for his infidelity was that he wanted to know if it was kissing in general or kissing me in particular that repulsed him. Good News! It wasn’t me in particular. I’m so glad that we found that out.

One of the things that became painfully clear during that time was that he had feelings about me (like being repulsed by my touch) that he never shared. Perhaps the signs were there, but the communication was not. And yes, I do realize that I am better off without him.

I am currently seeing someone who is 4 years younger than me. Granted, it’s not a huge age difference, but I still have a fear that he will find someone younger and more attractive. I know this would be a fear that I would have in any relationship because it could happen no matter how old the guy was. It’s something I’ve been trying to work through–sometimes successfully.

Communication is better in my current relationship. I’ve felt that lately he’s been withdrawing and have asked him about it. He has been candid with me. There are a few things that bother him (thankfully, we haven’t discussed everything that might bother him–I don’t want to open that can of worms), but he doesn’t mean to pull away. Sometimes, he’s taking cues from me and sometimes there are other issues (job, family, finances or any other issue that can create stress).

I realize that this is all normal–I just need to vent right now and work through it.

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Nerves

Today, the accountant is coming to complete the 990s for the Education Fund. I don’t know why I’m so nervous–maybe because I’m the one responsible for the books, and I only have the fundamentals of bookkeeping down. As usual, I have a laundry list of things that need to be tweaked–like some payroll entries that seem to be erroneous from before I started.

The other two entities won’t be looked at today because we’ve scheduled an audit next month, and part of the service is to complete the 990s for those accounts. I think I’ll probably be a basket case before and during the audit. I have to keep in mind that I only took over the books during the last half of the year. And I have the impression that the accountant who used to come in to run the monthly/quarterly reports didn’t really know what he was doing. That’s very scary for me because I know that I’m pretty new to this, so I don’t want to just say that he was screwing things up. I never met the old accountant; we stopped using him before I was hired, which I tell myself is a hint that he didn’t know what was going on. I like the new one; she seems very knowledgeable and by using her techniques, I can easily find the errors in my entries (and usually fix them).

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Exhaustion

What a busy weekend! Friday night, we decided to kick back and relax. J’s bowling league is done for the season, so it was the first Friday since we’ve been going out that we didn’t have to be somewhere.

Saturday was just plain nuts. Every little thing took way longer than it should have. I wasn’t able to get all of my errands done before going to J’s sister’s for dinner. As it was, we were about 15 minutes late. (more…)

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Blucky Friday

I am so glad that I took last Friday off instead of this one, as originally planned. It is still trying to rain here (and will for the entire weekend). J has off and is working on his car.

We’re planning to decorate Easter eggs tonight. I don’t know what we’ll do with them once we’ve decorated them, but we’re not terribly worried about it.

What is everyone else doing for Easter? I’m having lunch at my Mom’s. I haven’t spent an Easter with my family since before my mother got remarried. It’s also my sister’s birthday and the birthday of my niece. We’ll be having dinner on Easter Sunday with J’s family. Somehow this is beginning to remind me of Thanksgiving when we were constantly eating.

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We are no longer having the thunderstorms and hail, but it has been constantly drizzling since Tuesday. The temperature is dropping today–the high is supposed to be 40. Everyone is hoping that we don’t get another freeze.

The good news is that everything should be green around here by the weekend.

Last night, J found out that one of his closest friends was rushed down to Rochester yesterday afternoon because of an irregular heart beat. At first all J was told was that his friend had been hospitalized. He tried calling the family and another close friend, but no one was home. We finally stopped at a restaurant where the guy in the hospital and his sister work and a co-worker told us what was happening. This friend is only 25, I think. He works 2 jobs–at Josten’s (they print the diplomas for most of the high schools and colleges in the nation) and makes pizzas at a local restaurant in the evenings. He’s been working incredible hours lately because this is Josten’s busy season and they’ve been logging some overtime.

At least he’s in Rochester. Most of us in Red Wing believe that Rochester with St. Mary’s and the Mayo Clinic provides the best care available in the state.

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