And part of it comes from my guilt….
DH and I just had a huge fight and I left to go for a drive to get some of my emotions under control. In a nutshell, I’m not doing enough around here. He finally asked me what it is I do all day because all he sees is me watching tv or playing on my computer.
He just got done working on our roof. He’s been at it all day without a break. I sat inside all day and watched CSI, except when I went to Target to pick up diapers, wipes, and toilet paper and stopped by my mom’s because she was going through baby withdrawal.
To be fair, he does get up 90% of the time during the night and changes Justin’s diapers and burps him after I nurse or in between nursings as it sometimes happens.
It’s been almost four weeks since I gave birth and my body is still very sore. It hurts to stand for more than a couple of minutes and it hurts to sit in the same position for too long. I’ve talked to family members and to the midwives and this is normal. Even though I’ve never had this slow of a recovery time, this is perfectly normal.
Everyone tells me to focus on nursing and relaxing. Don’t worry about the house or anything else.
That’s not an option for me. DH wants the house on the market in a week and a half. The house is a disaster from the renovations and the baby showers. There is crap everywhere that needs to be sorted and put away or stored. I try to spend 15 minutes on it every day, but what little I get done gets messed up by the end of the night when DH puts stuff in the nearest open space. This timeline he’s set is unrealistic but he’s set that we either meet this deadline or we have to refinance this house and be here for another year or two.
And since I haven’t been doing anything to help out, I need to step it up now.
I’m going to try to get online at least once every day, but I may not be commenting or saying much for the next few days.
I’m sorry to hear this. I hope you won’t mind my staight talk initiative. The hormones are interfering with my propriety filters π
Your baby is a month old. You all need time to adjust. It’s not easy. You and the dude should maybe sit down and discuss expectations and whether they are realistic or not. If you must sell the house, maybe you should invest in some help…even if it means going into debt temporarily… if you can not get the work done together.
Everyone’s health and relationship is way more important than selling the house asap π
My dude talked to me last night about selling our house in the Spring and I was all… “Are you nuts? We are going to have a newborn. How crazy do you want me?” I can’t imagine going through it with a one month old.
It’s just bump in the road, but By God Woman, you just gave birth, put your feet up without guilt π
I’m sorry to hear this. I hope you won’t mind my staight talk initiative. The hormones are interfering with my propriety filters π
Your baby is a month old. You all need time to adjust. It’s not easy. You and the dude should maybe sit down and discuss expectations and whether they are realistic or not. If you must sell the house, maybe you should invest in some help…even if it means going into debt temporarily… if you can not get the work done together.
Everyone’s health and relationship is way more important than selling the house asap π
My dude talked to me last night about selling our house in the Spring and I was all… “Are you nuts? We are going to have a newborn. How crazy do you want me?” I can’t imagine going through it with a one month old.
It’s just bump in the road, but By God Woman, you just gave birth, put your feet up without guilt π
Even if you didn’t have a baby, and the two of you took the next week and a half an did nothing but get the house ready, you would miss the deadline. It is just too much. Even if you threw it all in boxes and put it in storage, I don’t think you could do it in a week and a half. At least not on your own, and not given how your body is feeling. And you do have a baby.
The bottom line is that if you want to sell the house this summer, you are going to need help to get it ready. Maybe some could come from family and friends? Maybe you need to find a source of cheap laborers? Maybe a local real estate agent has connections?
It isn’t fair for J to dump this on you. I suspect though he was tired from not taking a break from the roof. And he is probably overwhelmed in his own way with the arrival of Justin.
You shouldn’t feel guilty. You did just give birth and are caring for a newborn.
I’d suggest working together to come up a plan that has a realistic time line and budget and tasks assigned.
Even if you didn’t have a baby, and the two of you took the next week and a half an did nothing but get the house ready, you would miss the deadline. It is just too much. Even if you threw it all in boxes and put it in storage, I don’t think you could do it in a week and a half. At least not on your own, and not given how your body is feeling. And you do have a baby.
The bottom line is that if you want to sell the house this summer, you are going to need help to get it ready. Maybe some could come from family and friends? Maybe you need to find a source of cheap laborers? Maybe a local real estate agent has connections?
It isn’t fair for J to dump this on you. I suspect though he was tired from not taking a break from the roof. And he is probably overwhelmed in his own way with the arrival of Justin.
You shouldn’t feel guilty. You did just give birth and are caring for a newborn.
I’d suggest working together to come up a plan that has a realistic time line and budget and tasks assigned.
I am so sad to read this. There is just no way possible that you can do what he is asking. You just gave birth! Nursing saps all your energy. It is completely unrealistic for you to do anything other than sit on the couch and watch TV. When I had a newborn I could barely take a shower. It’s very, very normal. He was probably just tired and cranky from working on the roof. I hope you guys are able to sit down and talk about it and realize this is not the time for you to be doing a bunch of physical labor. *sending big hugs*
I am so sad to read this. There is just no way possible that you can do what he is asking. You just gave birth! Nursing saps all your energy. It is completely unrealistic for you to do anything other than sit on the couch and watch TV. When I had a newborn I could barely take a shower. It’s very, very normal. He was probably just tired and cranky from working on the roof. I hope you guys are able to sit down and talk about it and realize this is not the time for you to be doing a bunch of physical labor. *sending big hugs*
Oh boy. I really do think he is being unrealistic. And I don’t think you have anything to feel guilty about. You need to be focusing on Justin and recovering.
You are both going through such a big adjustment. He’s got to allow both of you the time to do that. I’m sorry you’re both feeling so much pressure in this situation. :^(
Oh boy. I really do think he is being unrealistic. And I don’t think you have anything to feel guilty about. You need to be focusing on Justin and recovering.
You are both going through such a big adjustment. He’s got to allow both of you the time to do that. I’m sorry you’re both feeling so much pressure in this situation. :^(
Tell him you’re more than willing to step it up. You’ll push through the pain and get stuff done.
To be fair though, that means HE’S got to do the nursing, so latch that baby on!
Tell him you’re more than willing to step it up. You’ll push through the pain and get stuff done.
To be fair though, that means HE’S got to do the nursing, so latch that baby on!