Archive for March, 2008

Twins Opener

Here are some dedicated tailgaters…

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Of course, this time, I pretty much created it….

Our holiday plans included making buttermilk biscuits on Saturday for Sunday dinner, dying eggs at my mom’s on Saturday night, the 8 am church service, making my grandmother’s rice pudding for lunch, lunch at my Mom’s, and dinner at SIL’s.

On Saturday, I asked DH if anyone was planning to visit BIL, who is still on the psych ward in Rochester (45 minutes away).  Turns out  that no one in his entire family could find the time to visit.  Not his brother (the third triplet) who only had his fiancee’s family to visit as his son can’t go to SIL’s because of his severe allergies; not SIL who has twins, is pregnant, and had a bunch of people coming over for dinner–not to mention attend church services; and not his parents who were planning to drive down on Monday because he has to go out in public as part of his evaluation.  His parents were thinking about maybe heading up to SIL’s early, but weren’t planning to do anything else all day long.

That is completely unacceptable to me.  You don’t let a family member spend a major holiday alone.  It’s got to be a rule somewhere.  So we all got up so we could make it to the 6:30 am sunrise service, enjoy a quick breakfast at the church, drive to Rochester to present BIL with an acceptable Easter basket and show our support, finish up on the crazy craft project I started at the last minute, put the final touches on the rice pudding I started the night before, head over to my mom’s, and then head up to SIL’s.  We didn’t get home until after 8:30.  It was hard, but we got through it.  Justin was a trooper–he got a bit overtired because his naps kept getting interrupted, but he was mostly charming.

Of course, the in-laws asked how BIL is doing.  They’re mostly concerned about his medication–if it’s causing him to be “foggy”.  We didn’t tell them that he was nervous about the visit from them.  Apparently, they told him that there were some things they “needed to discuss”, but didn’t give him any idea what these things were.  I’d be nervous too.  Honestly, he’s losing weight–and I told them that.  My MIL kept correcting me by saying that he’s gaining weight.  Maybe he is, but he looked thinner than he did a week ago.  He’d had a rough night–he was woken up when they were checking his room and couldn’t get back to sleep.  Most of the family thinks he’ll be released tomorrow, but DH and I have our doubts.  He will be assigned to a social worker when he completes the program there, so that’s good. 

I really don’t understand this family….

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I’m here.  I’ve been keeping up on my Friends List but haven’t had time to post much.  There just aren’t enough hours in the days.

Everything is going well between DH and I.  Justin is healthy and seems to have overcome whatever was sending us to the doctor every few days.  BIL has been evaluated and is on a new medication.  He’s still in the hospital, but I think we’re going to go visit him on Sunday.

Bowling tonight was fun.  I got two patches because my average was so low, I got a patch for having a game in the 120s and another for a 300 series.  My average was an 87, but apparently it’s at 90 now.  I bowled a 70 (gah!), a 97 and a 110 tonight, so I’m pleased with that. 

I’m beat.  I’ve got some dishes while I listen to the CraftLit podcast and I’ll probably do some knitting in front of the tv.

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Have I ever mentioned that my ILs have no boundaries? 

Last Friday, while we were sitting around the ILs while BIL had his chat with a friend who deals with mental illness on a daily basis, I left the room for a bit.  While I was gone, FIL and MIL started harping on DH as to when Justin will get a sibling.

Bad enough, but common.

My MIL said, “Oh but wait, she’s still nursing.  She can’t have any more children until she stops and gets her period.”

I’m fairly certain that in the heat of the moment, DH probably told them, that I’ve already gotten it.  I do know that he told them that he knows of several women who got pregnant while nursing their baby.  Even with just that little bit of information, I was livid.  He knows better than to ‘fess up to anything else he may have said.

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*@@****@! Hospital

So the local hospital couldn’t take him last night and sent him to his parents to stay for the night.  They did manage to get him to take his medication, but they didn’t have anyone on staff who could deal with the situation other than that.  He has an appointment with his therapist next Friday.  His parents are encouraging him to try to get that moved up.  It’s not at the hospital, but I can’t believe that they wouldn’t take him overnight even if it was to observe the life threatening reaction that he claims the medication gives him.

I don’t know how long he’ll be at his parents, I suspect it was just for last night.

I’m also highly annoyed because he did ask about the contents of the strawberry cupcake.  I told him I made it from scratch.  DH jumped in and said that it was all natural, so there might be something that he’s allergic too in it!  I know, strawberries; and my MIL made a point that strawberries are a difficult food for her side of the family.  Can anyone explain to me then why at every family event they serve strawberry shortcake?????  And everyone has at least two helpings!  DH also said that maybe it’s a gluten reaction.  BIL is the KING of Carbs–no moderation whatsoever. 

I know that his accusation is part of the illness–just like he accused his mom of poisoning some turkey that they all ate.  What gets me is how his family is trying to rationalize it by using the ingredients in the cupcake.

I got it!  Maybe he’s allergic to cakes baked from scratch.  He and the rest of the family only use mixes.

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As his parents were filling out a police report, my BIL walked in.  He’d gone for a long drive; we calculate it at about 500 miles.

T came over and convinced him to get evaluated tonight at a hospital.

He did quit his job and refuses to go back.  His boss is very understanding but says that it would be hard to hire him back at this point since he’s been a no show for two days now.  But he also said that someone has been messing with BIL’s computer and files because the boss is noticing locked files/folders and things that have been moved around.  Someone really has been harassing him at work.

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Justin has slept two whole nights all the way through!

Work is going well–even with the ED out of town.

DH and I are getting along well.

So now that’s all back on track, it’s time for another family member breakdown! I know I really shouldn’t make light of it, but I’m using this journal to vent and I can say things here that are inappropriate in order to get them out of my system. Because really, I’m very, very worried.

My BIL disappeared again yesterday.

I can’t find the post from a while back (a couple of years ago) when he called us at 3 am, said he was sorry, and then said goodbye. This was the day after he had surprised family members in another state by showing up in their driveway one morning.  The entire day was spent with his family as everyone frantically tried to locate him; it turned out that he had checked himself in to a psych ward where he wound up spending some time and seemed to be getting better. He’s had little bouts since, but nothing really troublesome. Until yesterday.

His job called his parents wondering why he hadn’t shown up for work.  A few hours later, we found out that he had showed up at his brother’s work and had been hanging out there.  He said that he’d been fired, that he was getting kicked out of the house he’s living in (it’s a rental), and that the church had thrown him out too.  By the end of the night, it was learned that he hadn’t been fired from work (a misunderstanding when the phrase “you’ve been dismissed” was used), the landlords don’t have any issues with him (he had written of some damage that he’d done to the house–stained floor, etc that they are not concerned about), and the church hasn’t turned it’s back on him.

All a misunderstanding.

But he’s disappeared again today.  He showed up at work and dropped off his still wet-from-the-washer uniform and quit.  No one has seen him.  He left a strange message on a friend’s, we’ll call him T, machine.  T works for the sheriff’s department.  When my MIL let herself into his house, she found an envelope addressed to T–for his eyes only.  The outside of the envelope gave some indication of what was inside. She called T who told her to take it with her and open it so she could read it to him over the phone.  In order for him to get it without her involvement, he would have had to involve the police and that’s a situation we all want to avoid. 

The outside of the envelope mentions a cupcake that is in his fridge.  It is to be checked for poison because he had heart palpitations and other reactions for two days after eating it–and it came from a family member (we’re all sure this is one of the strawberry cupcakes I made a while back).  Apparently, he took a bite back then and has been saving it to be tested.

The envelope also mentions where T can find the medications he’s been on and gives specific instructions to look up the life threatening side effects of it because that’s what happened to him on Monday.

Inside were a bunch of papers.  Two are a long to do list–part of it seems to be stuff that he’s doing and part seems to be stuff for T to do–mixed together.  People T should talk to, people BIL is talking to.  There’s mention of things back in high school and at a wedding 3 years ago.  In both cases, he accidentally, inappropriately touched a woman (brushed up against her chest while giving her a hug–pure accident) that he can’t seem to get passed.  He wants to contact the high school girlfriend’s father to apologize (she’s married and divorced now) and get a letter to the bride via the church she was married at.  There are other things–laid out logically, but that aren’t logical at all.  There’s references to the bible again, which has been a trigger for him in the past.  I kept trying to apply logic to figure out where he has gone, but he’s not thinking logically.  In spite of what it looks like on paper.

The first time this happened, he was diagnosed with paranoia and schizophrenia.  There’s a note on the documents saying that he feels he was misdiagnosed.  He feels like he did when he was first on the medication and wants to make sure that it’s flushed out of his system.

I think we’re looking at an involuntary commitment this time.  T is using his resources to find out what the proper steps will be.  This really is a sad thing because my BIL has many amazing qualities.  DH is making light of it.  We both think that there is a chance that he will show up for dinner with us tonight as planned.  I don’t think DH is really going to worry until BIL doesn’t show up for that.  I’m afraid that he won’t.  How do you figure out what a person who’s brain is not working properly is thinking/planning? 

I’m afraid that this is hereditary and my husband is a twin of BIL and that I have a son.  I honestly don’t think I can tell you how that is haunting me right now.

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