Justin has slept two whole nights all the way through!
Work is going well–even with the ED out of town.
DH and I are getting along well.
So now that’s all back on track, it’s time for another family member breakdown! I know I really shouldn’t make light of it, but I’m using this journal to vent and I can say things here that are inappropriate in order to get them out of my system. Because really, I’m very, very worried.
My BIL disappeared again yesterday.
His job called his parents wondering why he hadn’t shown up for work. A few hours later, we found out that he had showed up at his brother’s work and had been hanging out there. He said that he’d been fired, that he was getting kicked out of the house he’s living in (it’s a rental), and that the church had thrown him out too. By the end of the night, it was learned that he hadn’t been fired from work (a misunderstanding when the phrase “you’ve been dismissed” was used), the landlords don’t have any issues with him (he had written of some damage that he’d done to the house–stained floor, etc that they are not concerned about), and the church hasn’t turned it’s back on him.
All a misunderstanding.
But he’s disappeared again today. He showed up at work and dropped off his still wet-from-the-washer uniform and quit. No one has seen him. He left a strange message on a friend’s, we’ll call him T, machine. T works for the sheriff’s department. When my MIL let herself into his house, she found an envelope addressed to T–for his eyes only. The outside of the envelope gave some indication of what was inside. She called T who told her to take it with her and open it so she could read it to him over the phone. In order for him to get it without her involvement, he would have had to involve the police and that’s a situation we all want to avoid.
The outside of the envelope mentions a cupcake that is in his fridge. It is to be checked for poison because he had heart palpitations and other reactions for two days after eating it–and it came from a family member (we’re all sure this is one of the strawberry cupcakes I made a while back). Apparently, he took a bite back then and has been saving it to be tested.
The envelope also mentions where T can find the medications he’s been on and gives specific instructions to look up the life threatening side effects of it because that’s what happened to him on Monday.
Inside were a bunch of papers. Two are a long to do list–part of it seems to be stuff that he’s doing and part seems to be stuff for T to do–mixed together. People T should talk to, people BIL is talking to. There’s mention of things back in high school and at a wedding 3 years ago. In both cases, he accidentally, inappropriately touched a woman (brushed up against her chest while giving her a hug–pure accident) that he can’t seem to get passed. He wants to contact the high school girlfriend’s father to apologize (she’s married and divorced now) and get a letter to the bride via the church she was married at. There are other things–laid out logically, but that aren’t logical at all. There’s references to the bible again, which has been a trigger for him in the past. I kept trying to apply logic to figure out where he has gone, but he’s not thinking logically. In spite of what it looks like on paper.
The first time this happened, he was diagnosed with paranoia and schizophrenia. There’s a note on the documents saying that he feels he was misdiagnosed. He feels like he did when he was first on the medication and wants to make sure that it’s flushed out of his system.
I think we’re looking at an involuntary commitment this time. T is using his resources to find out what the proper steps will be. This really is a sad thing because my BIL has many amazing qualities. DH is making light of it. We both think that there is a chance that he will show up for dinner with us tonight as planned. I don’t think DH is really going to worry until BIL doesn’t show up for that. I’m afraid that he won’t. How do you figure out what a person who’s brain is not working properly is thinking/planning?
I’m afraid that this is hereditary and my husband is a twin of BIL and that I have a son. I honestly don’t think I can tell you how that is haunting me right now.