Archive for June, 2008

Wonders Never Cease

So last night my future SIL invited me and my MIL to a Norwex party.  Some of you may remember that my future SIL and her best friend, H, had some issues with me back when H was dating my husband’s brother.  Things were still rather rocky at my wedding even.  And I think I’ve written just enough about my MIL so that you understand how last night could have played out.

It. was. fun.  FUN.  H was there and carried on a conversation with me.  A nice, pleasant conversation.  Somehow, I think having a baby opened a door to these women because I things really started to switch about the time I became pregnant.  I didn’t even realize how I had not been dreading this get together as I would have in the past. 

Of course, my in-law stories can’t end on a positive, almost normal note can they?

On the way home, my MIL and I were discussing family gatherings scheduled for this summer.  Turns out there’s a family reunion this weekend.  When I said I must have missed the mailing, I was told that it’s word of mouth only.  Apparently, word didn’t reach DH and I.  MIL also mentioned that it didn’t look like BIL and future SIL would be getting married on August 8.  Now that was a jaw dropper.

I didn’t know that there were wedding plans for August 8.  DH didn’t know there were wedding plans for August 8.  I could chalk this up to a desire to keep the wedding small and informal, but the reason that they aren’t getting married on August 8 is that they don’t have enough money set aside to afford the big wedding they want to have. 

It is possible to plan a very nice wedding in a small amount of time where I live, so it’s not unreasonable to think you can have a really nice wedding in 4 months of planning.  But I’m sure most of the venues have been booked for August 8 for a while now–just because it’s “the date” this year. 

MIL said that there’s a slight possibility of a wedding in September or October.  I think that’s more wishful conjecture on her part.  However, if they are thinking September, DH and I need to know because my brother is getting married that month and it would be just our luck to have the dates coinicide. 

DH will talk to his brother, but we’re both pretty sure that if there’s no money for a wedding in August that the couple is probably going to wait until next year.

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I’ve wanted to upgrade from my current Dell desktop to a Mac Powerbook for a little while now.  My desktop was really wonky a month ago, but seems to have gotten over itself since I removed some programs that I didn’t need.  So I can’t justify the expense of getting a new computer, much less one that runs just under $3K.

My office is planning to switch to Macs.  I’ll be getting a Powerbook through them for work, we’ll probably lease the machines, but for the most part, it will be mine (and not have to stay in the office while I work from home).

Next, I have had some seriously excellent customer service lately.  Over the weekend, the cable from my Harmony Options circular needles came apart from the tip that attaches to the needle.  I tried to get it back together, but it’s not meant to come out or go back in.  I called the Knit Picks customer service line and they are sending out a replacement set of cables free of charge.

Then we have the problems with my camera.  It’s a Casio Exilim and it’s been a good point and shoot.  However, this weekend, the battery needed recharging and it just won’t charge.  The red light is flashing which according to the manual means that the battery has gone bad.  I called the support line and noticed on the accessories page that a new battery will run about $30 plus shipping and handling.  However, the nice service rep said that this is a known issue and that he was happy to send me a replacement battery–again free of charge!

So I really have to give kudos to both Knit Picks and Casio who actually have customer service departments that serve the customer.  Both representatives were friendly and didn’t ask a lot of questions–they just fixed my problem at no charge to me. 

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So I’m back on my regular work schedule, 2 days in the Cities, 3 days at home.  It feels nice.  The babe was sleepy at 7:30 and was out by 8 so I should probably get some exercise in and do the dishes quickly so I can relax for the rest of the evening.

Originally posted on faeriekissed.vox.com

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I took the day off from work.  My son still went to daycare, so I did some dishes and my mini workout and then just relaxed.  I worked on a cross stitch project, saw Sex and the City, enjoyed the fish fry at Marie’s, stopped by the in-laws, watched Charlie Wilson’s War, and made progress on the market bag I’m knitting.  I feel very good right now.

Tomorrow I need to work on the garden, do laundry, plan the week’s meals, and try to get my kitchen under control.  I’ll probably get the bathroom cleaned while I’m at it.

Not much else to say right now.

Originally posted on faeriekissed.vox.com

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The audit is pretty much done–the fieldwork in our office is over and now the auditors go back and run their reports and draw up their documents.  All in all, I think it went well.  They did find a lot of small errors and they have some clear recommendations on how to improve our processes, so I’m glad that they were so thorough. 

My mom and her husband joined us for dinner tonight.  I must have been picking on Joe too much because my mother kept touching my arm and saying, “It’s all right.”  He did do a good job.  The house was straightened up when I got home, but it was like he only heard half of what we talked about both last night and this morning.  He told me he had a great idea for dessert with bananas.  I responded that my mother is allergic to them, so he said he’d make a banana pudding with vanilla wafers. That’s fine, but he layered bananas at the bottom of the dish.  Last night I was going to make a pan of lasagna for him to throw into the oven.  That way, even if I was late, they could start eating at 7.  However, it got a bit late and I realized that he might be pretty crunched for time, so I suggested that we get some take out.  He agreed.

I got home at 10 after 7, serious storms on the drive home, and he was planning to grill and hadn’t started the food yet.  Dinner wouldn’t be ready until 7:30.  A couple of times in the past, when I’ve suggested a 7:30 meal, my mom has said that it gets a bit late then and we usually have to re-schedule, which is hard to do with our schedules.  I know he was trying to do the right thing–and honestly the meal was very good, so I probably should just let it go.  I mean, it was better than take out–he really put in the extra effort.

Again, the audit is done as far as I’m concerned.  I feel very relieved.  I’m taking a vacation day tomorrow to just relax and de-stress.

Originally posted on faeriekissed.vox.com

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It’s that time of year that everyone expects me to be stressed out.  Co-workers are bringing me food and taking me out to lunch.  They are giving me a wide berth to focus on what I need to get done.  The funny thing is…..

it’s the week before the audit that I am beyond stressed out as I try to get all the materials, reports, and questionnaires completed and sent off to the auditors.  Comparatively, this is a piece of cake.

We’ve got a new auditing firm this year so it is a bit more work than normal because these people are completely unfamiliar with the creature that is my three-headed organization.  Ironically, I requested new auditors because I felt that the previous auditors didn’t dig deep enough.  Well, that and the fact that I found errors in their “audited” financial statements as well as the 990s they prepared for us.  Me, the person who had never taken an accounting class ever–unless you count the nonprofit accounting seminar I took when I first started.  It is very daunting to realize that these professionals with degrees in accounting and who do this as there only job are making mistakes that seem to be obvious.  And, for the record, this year’s auditors are finding more of their mistakes–clue number one that I’ve found a better firm.

However, I’m not getting home until after 7:30.  That only gives me an hour to eat and play with Justin before bed time.  Once he goes down, I try to get some of the household tasks done and then by 10:30 or 11, I’m finally ready to wind down.  DH is being great.  He’s changed his hours so he’s going into work at 5 in the morning so he’s exhausted by the end of the day.  When I get home, supper is waiting for me and Justin is well taken care of.  I think I’m going to have to do something special for him this weekend.

Originally posted on faeriekissed.vox.com

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On Vox: Closure

I’ve been drafting this post in my head for a while now, but I’m still not sure that it’s going to make sense…..

What exactly is Closure?  What do people really want/need when they say that they need Closure on a specific situation? 

I’ve probably thought at some point in my life that I needed Closure after a relationship–I really can’t remember when–maybe back in college after a particularly painful breakup.  But as I hear friends or guests on talk shows talk about their need for Closure, I find myself confused.

Is the need for Closure an excuse to get back into contact with someone from our past?  A reason to send an email or pick up the phone and dial their number?  What does someone hope to gain from that contact? And don’t say Closure.  Is Closure the opportunity to express our hurt/anger over the unfairness of what happened?  It seems that in so many instances, all that hurt has been communicated–usually at the time of the breakup–so what purpose is there in stating what’s already been said?  Or perhaps after time has passed, we’ve thought of the perfect zinger or a better way to express our needs.  Does it really matter now?  What benefit do we gain at this point?  Life has moved on whether we’ve moved on as well–what exactly does Closure get us?

Is it something that someone else has to give us?  I’m beginning to think that the need for Closure is in fact a need for Peace–a desire to put something to rest and never have to dwell on it again.  Can someone else give us that?  Even if they could, why do we give that responsibility to someone who has already hurt us, intentionally or not? 

I can spend hours wondering why an ex-boyfriend or ex-husband cheated on me, but those are hours I will never get back.  And yes, of course when the wound is still raw, that’s exactly what we do–and probably need to do in order to work through the pain.  I can fantasize about running into an ex and being happy with my life while he is miserable in his, but again why waste my fantasies on him when I can fantasize about Matt Damon or any other attractive male–including my husband?

Of course I’ve been heartbroken, betrayed, devastated.  And yes, I’ve raged at the world, the heavens, and anyone within 100 yards of me.  But eventually sometime much later, I realize that I’m happy.  And that hurt doesn’t affect my happiness.  It has nothing to do with my current happiness, except to help me appreciate it for the blessing that it is. 

Am I curious as to what my various exes, be they boyfriends, husbands, or friends, are up to these days?  Of course I am–but contacting them adds nothing to my life at this point.  I’m a different person in part because of them–and perhaps they are too. 

And sometimes something triggers that old pain.  It’s still there, but it’s not as sharp or as consuming as it once was.  And if does become something more, I can talk about it to the people who know, love, and support me who will just listen because they know that this is not about something someone else can give or do for me.  It’s about me finding my way again.

Originally posted on faeriekissed.vox.com

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