It’s funny how so much is the same and yet so much is different the second time around. With my son, J, the pregnancy was almost magical. Sure, there was the discomfort and the downside of being pregnant (no wine, caffeine, sleep, etc), but I felt special. I felt connected to the baby inside me. With my second child that magic was missing. I didn’t feel as connected and often forgot I was pregnant. My body was far more tired and easily distressed. It wasn’t a bad pregnancy, but the only real thing I will miss about being pregnant is the vivid dreams. I loved dreaming in what seemed to be high-definition.
However, now that my little girl, A, has arrived, I feel the magic. I recovered much faster than I did the first time and I’ve really enjoyed my maternity leave and all the time I’ve spent with her. I love how she is constantly tracking where I am and how she looks up at me with perfect trust–and lately a tiny smile. There are big smiles too, but the tiny ones seem to have more meaning–maybe because they are reserved for when we are snuggling.
I only have one more week of leave before going back to work. I plan to enjoy it and not worry about what will happen the following week when her dad takes over from me or even the week after when she finally enters daycare. Right now is our time.